I remember the trip to the hospital to deliver my son after he had died like I was in a fog. I was so mixed up.  I was not prepared for what was about to happen.  This was nothing like when my first daughter had been born.  I pray that this list might help you organize your thoughts, and your things, for what is before you.

Things to bring:

  • A Bible
  • A hymnal or some music to listen to
  • Your cell phone with a charger
  • A camera with extra batteries
  • A journal and pen
  • A phone list of people to call
  • A blanket for your baby
  • A stuffed animal, or something to take pictures with your baby to help you remember how big they were.  It also gives you something to hold onto when you leave the hospital.  I still remember how empty my arms felt as I was wheeled out to the car for the ride home.

Some other suggestions:

  • Save things that your baby wore or was wrapped in.  You will cherish holding them later.
  • Consider having family members, including your living children, see and hold your baby. It helps them appreciate the reality of your child’s life. I wish that my daughter had seen Tommy – I thought it would be “too much” for her, but I’ve learned that most children handle death much better than we expect.
  • Spend as much time with your baby as possible – consider holding him, praying for him, even giving him a bath.
  • You will set the tone for how the doctors, staff and visitors will treat you and your baby. Try to be firm with your requests and make your feelings known.  It will be hard, but you want to avoid regrets later.
  • Write down the names of the people helping you in the hospital – consider writing them a thank you note if they’ve been of comfort to you.  This will especially help if you have a long period of time in the hospital after the birth.